...it is from that hour that I incline to date my Spiritual New-birth, or Baphometic Fire-baptism; perhaps I directly thereupon began to be a Pig.

November 07, 2005

This is new...

Wow. This must be a first in guinea pig history. Today's floor session was particularly hateful: Bessie actually sprayed her pee in Maude's face! Twice! And then Maude made two unsuccessful attempts to return fire, finally landing one direct hit. Bessie just stood there frozen with indignation for a few seconds before leaping to re-engage Maude in ridiculous piggy combat.

I have recently discovered that this reluctance on the part of my gp's to behave in a friendly manner to one another stems from a religious disagreement on the part of the cousins. Maude, being Polish, is a devout Catholic. When Pope JPII passed away last year, she spent the day hiding in her house, too sad to stir. Bessie, on the other hand, is a staunch low-church Anglican, accustomed to very little ornamentation and ceremony in her forms of worship.

So really, at the heart of their problems is a religious debate which I've invited them to come out and conduct publicly, in this blog. So the next few posts should contain brief statements of each pig's religious point of view, and then a point-counterpoint engagement of those beliefs, until hopefully we can reach an understanding. This isn't about converting either pig, it's about giving them the tools to work through their intolerance. As I think Cathy and Oliver pointed out, Bessie really isn't finding the solace she had hoped to... I think the two can talk it out in this space.

And of course, if all else fails, there is baptism by bathtub, which they had a little taste of today, following the pissing contest.

God give me strength!


Anonymous Chris said...

Good ol' pee war, eh? I haven't had one in years. Sure brings me back to my youth and midsummer nights spent in Dalesville...

10:09 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So the guineas is into the golden showers! Booyahkhasha! If dat be da case mon, I for sure be willin' to pay forty quid for the twos.

Waitin' to get me freak on.

10:15 pm  
Blogger m&b said...

Hmmmm.... I'm kind of glad I moved away when I was 16 if it means that I was able to avoid witnessing any of the pee-play you and Mike engaged in. Yeesh! I saw enough to scar me as it was two years ago back at the 4-7-4!

12:05 am  

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