pigblog

Maude T. Skipowicz, 2003 - 08/08/07

2007-08-15T10:55:00.000-04:00

It is with great sadness that I announce the passing of a dear, dear pig. Maude died very early last Wednesday morning after a brief illness.

On Tuesday morning, I noticed she wasn't eating much of anything, but just pretending to -- taking vegetables into her house and hiding them. By lunch, she seemed listless, so I called the vet and got an appointment for later that afternoon.

The vet found an abcess behind Maude's right ear. He seemed optimistic about her recovery, and sent us home with some antibiotics and a special food mix to give Maude through a syringe.

When we got her home, I tried feeding her the apple-and-banana-smelling mush, but she seemed disinterested -- I put it in her mouth, but she didn't swallow. I was hopeful she had managed to eat a little, since she sometimes seemed to chew, dosed her with her antibiotics, and put her in a smaller cage away from Bessie so I could monitor her eating.

I gave her another feeding around 8, and then another at midnight. She was limp and weak by then, and didn't even struggle as I lifted her out of the cage. Ordinarily, she is all flailing legs.

I realized at the last feeding that Maude was ready to let go, and spent some time cuddling and talking to her, telling her what a good pig she is, and how much we love her.

I placed her back in her cage around 1am, brushed my teeth, and by the time I came back into the room, she was gone.

Alex and I buried her up at my parents' house, in a spot she would have loved -- right by where our vegetable patch used to be. I put some dandelion leaves (her favorite) on her grave.

When the vet heard how fast she had declined, he was surprised, but suggested that what we thought was an abcess had in fact been a tumour. Looking back, I see now that Maude's hearing and her gait had not been quite "right" for a few days. She also had a really strange "quack"-sounding sneeze for the last year or so that the vets were never able to diagnose... she never had signs of an infection; it was unexplainable at the time. Maybe these were signs of something else.

Maude was my first guinea pig. After months of talking about getting a pig, Alex bought me Maude for my birthday at a pet store in Ottawa, right before we moved. She stayed there until we got to Ottawa. As soon as we were unpacked, we picked her up and it was love at first sight -- the extravagant hair, the timid and comical ways, her absolute delight in being scratched under the chin.

As a younger pig, Maude would race around her cage and leap onto her house almost every night. When Bessie came along, they chased each other in and out of the pigloos. As she got older, she slowed down, sometimes, in recent weeks, resting her tired little body on her stuffed sock, Mordecai, when she lay down to sleep.

In addition to her own "real" past (she had had at least one baby that we know of) Maude had a rich imaginary life, filled with advanced degrees, English cousins, a devotion to Roman Catholicism, and intrigues with (possibly Jewish) stuffed socks. She relished leafy vegetables of all kinds, and had a special fondness for nectarines. I'm sad she didn't get to taste any this year.

Maude, you were a very special pig, and we'll always remember you.

B-pigs

2007-02-01T23:46:00.000-05:00

Yo yo, check it! Mizzaude and Bizzessie up in da hizzeeee!

Okay, so it's a little tough to make out, but Maude and Bessie have started b-pigging (that is, "breakdancing") for exercise -- you can see their little piece of cardboard (necessary for doing sweet spins) down on the floor there. Here Maude is doing a "freeze," while Bessie is getting ready to do work on her "downrock." For the moment, she be straight chilling, but homeslice here can hit a pretty fly pike when it's time to throw down.

Awww yeah.

(Actually, I made them a tunnel out of a file folder and this is what has eventually become of it. Notice the green lettuce carnage, though! That's pretty hardcore!)

Let me iiiin!

2007-01-24T20:57:00.000-05:00

Every time I clean out Two Pig Place (the name of Maude and Bessie's condo, of course), I give the pigs a chance to run around, stretch their tiny legs, and see a whole different side of life outside the cage. And what do they do?
They sit dispassionately, eating pellets and staring at their home, or, like Maude here, practically climb the walls to get back in. What's the point, guys!? I try to give you the exercise all the books and the websites (and your beer gut, Bessie!) tell me to, but this is what you do instead, when given the chance. Sigh. Actually, kind of reminds me of when Mike and I were kids and my mom would kick us outside while she cleaned the house. Heh heh.

Well, GPs really aren't known for their athleticism anyway.

A new year

2007-01-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

Hello, loyal pigblog readers!
There has been NO action here for a long time... I'm thinking about closing up shop.
Actually, I may just update very, very infrequently -- I do need somewhere to show off my pigs doing something cute.

Happy 2007!

Home Renovations Take Two

2006-08-22T11:35:00.000-04:00

So for whatever reason Blogger decided to eat that post about home renovations. Here we go again:

This weekend, I added a second floor to Maude and Bessie's piggie condo! After locking my keys in my car when I went to buy the material, and waiting an hour for the CAA guy to come (thanks for the membership, Grandma!), I finally made it home to start my project.

EDIT: Aha! Finally, pictures! Here, Maude is upstairs, but only because I put her up there; both pigs were TERRIFIED of the ramp at first. I later put Bessie up there but she freaked out and wouldn't come down. Eventually I had to lift her down.

But we went out on Sunday, and when we got back, both pigs were upstairs. I think Maude showed Bessie the way. Now they go up and down regularly, all by themselves. So proud!

And here is the totally awesome, not at all scary ramp -- complete with a non-slip rubber mat.

All your buns are belong to us...

2006-08-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

This is obviously not pig-related.

I made the best cinnamon buns on Friday night /Saturday morning. Seriously. The recipe called them "clones of a cinnabon," you know, like the buns you can get at those cinnamon places in malls, and they were, in my opinion, even better. They're the best looking and best tasting cinnamon buns I've ever tried, let alone made. Yum! Here are some pictures to make you drool...

And a close-up shot:

Guineas beating the heat

2006-08-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

Well, loyal pigblog readers, it's been a verrrry hotttt few weeks here in O-town. I'm so sorry for neglecting ye olde blogge, but it's so easy to get busy with other things in summer! Softball, car trips, parties... sigh. So thanks for sticking around.

T&C very kindly inquired as to how the piggies have been dealing with this heatwave. In fact, Maude and Bessie have been keeping cool by drinking plenty of fresh water, chowing down on plenty of freshly-washed lettuce and crunchy parsley, and sipping the occasional beer...

Heh heh -- just kidding, of course. I mean, doesn't Maude look completely horrified at the very thought of even approaching such a filthy object!!? (Also, that piece of bedding on her face looks like a raised eyebrow -- how a propos!)

Actually, the piggies' #1 way to beat the heat is air conditioning! We bought one this spring (after our old inherited A/C actually got blown in the window and flipped onto the floor, where it smashed to a million pieces last fall). Mostly we got it for the sake of the poor piggins, who would be all panting and floppy without it. A little like this.

Friends Around the World

2006-06-15T11:56:00.000-04:00

Dear PigBlog Readers,

Bessie here. I came to the computer while my people are eating lunch, just to check up on what they write about Maude and I. Most of it is accurate; however the part about me very aggressively eating too much of the oat grass out of the pot is a huge exaggeration. The roots were very tenacious and that is why I seemed to be doing so much damage. I hope my person will print a clarification. Plus, Maude did really put all that grass in her mouth. She is a real... pig.

In taking a look at the site counter for my PigBlog just now, I noticed that people all over the world visit to read about me and Maude -- from as far away as Minnesota, Mexico, France, Ireland, Hawaii, and even California. How amazing that all these people know about Maude and me, and come and read all about us! I can hardly believe it. I wonder how they found our blog!

So a big hello to all those friends (and strangers) from around the world. Even though we're just pigs, we know you're reading about us! Thanks!

Sincerely,
Bessie

In Memoriam

2006-06-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

Brandy

May 2006

Oh Mah Gaw!

2006-06-14T19:37:00.000-04:00

It's been faaaaar too long since I updated Ye Olde PigBlog. SHAME! Almost a whole month without piggie picture goodness! How dare I deprive you all of your lovely friends, Maude and Bessie?

Well, you loyal PigBlog readers will be happy to know that things around here are simply fabulous. Maude and Bessie continue very well, loving their hay, pellets and fresh veg. They get regular exercise, and still enjoy the odd little spat. In other words, business as usual.

Recently, I started growing some "cat grass," also known at oat grass, for the Misses. It's safe for them to eat -- it's really just the live version of what they eat dried as hay -- and they LOVE IT. They go absolutely mental for it. I put a small handful of cut grass in one of their bowls the other day, and Maude ate it all up in one bite. She had this ridiculous thick bunch of grass sticking out of her mouth. I'm surprised she didn't choke on it or something. All this to prevent Bessie from eating it. Well, Bessie got her revenge: when allowed to (politely) eat a few blades right from the pot, she promptly chomped and ripped her way through about half of it, pulling it out by the roots so that (I imagine) Maude wouldn't have as much to steal next time.

Photographic proof:

Pigs on Peeps

2006-05-17T10:02:00.000-04:00

So long since I've updated! Sorry loyal pigblog readers! My dissertation proposal has thrown me into "busy mode." I have been taking some sweet pics, though.
Recently, Unkies Mike and Chris paid a visit to Maude and Bessie! Here is one of the Unkies hanging with the girls, who look pretty darn comfy. Click on the photo to really see Bessie's smile. And Auntie Colleen, who recently celebrated her birthday with Bessie!

Oh no you di'int!

2006-04-25T10:59:00.000-04:00

How hilarious/macabre is this? The husband of my equally pig-obsessed friend made this for her guinea Twister, because they kept seeing the ad for KFC's "Grilled Twister" sandwich! I love how you can get it (him) in BBQ Ranch or Roasted Garlic. Ewwwww!
It's a joke! Just a joke, folks! Sorry Mr. Twister!

Bath time for piggers

2006-04-17T21:22:00.000-04:00

This is such a cute photo I just had to share. Little Mr. Chase here needed a bath recently, so his great owners obliged him! Doesn't he look like he's having fun? "C'mon in, the water's warm!"

Hay Fever!

2006-04-10T15:27:00.000-04:00

Bessie sure does love that hay. She is twice the hay-lover Maude is. Maude's more of a pellets girl.

Big Butt Bessie

2006-04-10T15:11:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the grainy photo, but I caught Bessie in a super-relaxed pose the other evening and just had to share. So cute. She looks like she's wearing little pantaloons or something. Oh, and it really shows off the little brown spot in an unfortunate place on her fur. Sigh. Bessie!

Guinea Tiff: Another Video Special

2006-04-06T12:34:00.000-04:00

New Look

2006-03-29T21:33:00.000-05:00

Here's a fresh new (temporary) look! I changed the layout just so the video didn't bump the whole journal down to the bottom of the page. I'll probably change it again soon, though. This just isn't fancy enough for my guineas!

Dinner Time! (A video special)

2006-03-29T19:53:00.000-05:00

The FLU!

2006-03-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hello, loyal pigblog readers. As some of you may know, I was knocked out cold by a nasty flu virus on Sunday, and only awoke to put on real pants late yesterday. Wow! I truly was unconscious for almost 72 consecutive hours. That's what you get for being too lazy to go and get the flu shot comme du monde, I guess.
The upshot of all this is that before I knew it was a virus, I was strictly avoiding contact with my precious ones, as I've heard they can catch bacterial infections from us. Not viruses, for whatever reason, but bacteria. So I stayed away for much longer than I would have liked. I finally got a little cuddle in with Bessie last night, but no recent photos. These old ones will have to do for today.

Oh, one more thing about this flu. I had a really high fever, and of course the requisite wacky dreams. In one of these dreams, Maude and I went for lunch to McDonalds, where we both had chicken mcnuggets and fries. In a moment of playful rowdiness, Maude spit coke at me through her teeth!

Sleepytime Pigs

2006-03-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

The pigs seem to be going through a phase where they keep tipping their pigloos over. I'm talking multiple times a day. I think it happens because Bessie has discovered that the walls of her pigloo are transparent enough that she can spy on Maude from inside. When Maude comes too close, she tosses the pigloo up with her nose and pounces on Maude, knocking the pigloo all the way over in the process. Then, inevitably, both pigs will fight over the remaining pigloo, and it's super annoying. So, one day last week, I decided to take away their pigloos for a few minutes to "teach them a lesson." This sulky little naptime is what ensued. Awwwww!

Nailtrimming extravaganza

2006-03-02T09:43:00.000-05:00

We had to trim the piggies' nails the other night, which is always an adventure. They don't like it any more than we do. Maude's nails are a little easier to cut, because they're clear, so you can see (and avoid) the vein inside them, but she's much more nervous about the whole operation. Bessie, on the other hand, is as cool as can be while her black nails make exsanguination by mani/pedicure a distinct possibility. All this aside, the nail-trimming went quite well, and quite quickly. Here is Mr. Pigblogmistress consoling Maude after the ordeal.And I guess the dandelion is for pigs what the post-injection lollipop is for humans: a little comfort food, and a reward for being brave. Good job, Maude!

The Pigs Rejoice

2006-02-27T19:26:00.000-05:00

Maude and Bessie have a very important announcement to make.
After years of wallowing in their own sin, Maude and Bessie's people have decided to make their first tentative steps towards respectability and heteronormativity: they got engaged last week!
Here is a picture of the beautiful ring, it's a 1930's art deco antique with sapphires. Maude is especially fond of saphhires.
Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. PigBlogMistress! (Just kidding -- no Mrs. anything for me, thank you very much.)

Belt Buckle Bessie

2006-02-16T12:01:00.000-05:00

Yet another fashionable piggie pose. They are just so hip and stylish. The insouciance! The nonchalance! Like a much fatter version of the Olsen twins, really.

A word from Professor Skipowicz

2006-02-11T15:32:00.000-05:00

Hello loyal PigBlog readers. I'm happy to come before you once again with a little news item from my native Bolivia. It seems some politicians in that country would like schoolchildren to eat coca leaves because they are nutritious (a good source of calcium, and, of course, cocaine.) I agree wholeheartedly with this, and would like to suggest that guinea pigs start being fed coca leaves. Bessie and I are more than willing to be test subjects (don't say it) for such a program. It could be subsidized by our people, and they could feed us tasty coca leaves for, say, a month, and see how much healthier we get. Yes! Yes! And What Not!
As always, thank you for your attention.
Sincerely,
Dr. Maude T. Skipowicz, Ph.D., K.C.B., O.B.E.

It's been so long!

2006-02-09T22:15:00.000-05:00

Here's another one of those entries where I apologize for the total lack of updates in the last week or so. My goodness! I can't believe I missed my chance to do a little something for groundhog day... but, as you might expect, it's been busy. Teaching a course for the first time is really a full-time job. As is marking for another class, sleeping, getting over 2006 cold #2, and working on my dissertation research... oh, and occasionally spending time with Monst.
I'm posting some pictures from the piggies' outing this evening. Maude's butt was about as dirty as I've ever seen it today -- her hair seems to have gotten too long all of a sudden -- so I had to wash, blow-dry and trim said butt tonight. Rather than washing and blow-drying my own hair! Maudie loves the pats. (Funny guinea voice): "Oh! That's so nice!"
Bessie loves the pats. (Gruff Brooklyn accent): Yeah! Oh yeah!
Cookie Monster voice: "Grrrrrr! Dandelions!!!! Arrrrr! They're my faaaaavoriiiiiite! Graaaaaamscraaaamnyammm!"

An Evening's Entertainment

2006-01-30T22:26:00.000-05:00

Maude and Bessie were excited to take a tour of the office this evening, peeing in a corner and chasing each other up and down the room. Here they pose in a moody, rock-band-like tete-a-tete, with their beloved broccoli stem.
Bessie took a time out to enjoy her very favorite hobby (eating hay and veggies IS a career, don't you know?) -- chewing cardboard kleenex boxes. Note the adorable pouty guinea lips!
Miss Bessie still has a ways to go before she stops looking so plump and tasty. I love how she flops around with her fat belly and those ridiculous little chicken legs and feet! Here she's leaning on Maude as Maude attempts to drink from the wrong side of the water bottle. My little sweetnesses!

Farewell, Baruchito

2006-01-29T11:35:00.000-05:00

Maude and Bessie are very saddened by the passing of their virtual friend, Baruchito the Hamster, who lived in Japan with his "Papa" Javi. Poor little guy! He got sick just last week. He fought a brave fight, but eventually left for the Rainbow Bridge yesterday evening. What a cutie. He will be missed!

Exciting morning

2006-01-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

This morning I cleaned out the piggie cage and gave them some of their favorite veggies: broccoli, red pepper, and celery tops! While the big cleanout was going on, Maude and Bessie shared a kleenex box as an appetizer. How sweet!

It's Bedtime for Piggleses

2006-01-25T23:46:00.000-05:00

Before bed, Bessie needs a few sips of water. Maude's like, Bessie! Just drink your water and go to bed! Geez!
Maudie settles in for a comfortable night's sleep after a hard day of chewing, swallowing, and sometimes blinking. (If you look closely, you can see her eyes are actually closed! Other piggie owners --yes, you, ms. k! -- will understand why that's a big deal!)
Oh! I'm awake! I'm awake! Don't steal my pellets! (Guinea sleeps are pretty short.)
Mornin', Maude!

Creative Cookery

2006-01-21T17:25:00.000-05:00

Da da da da da DA-DA! (Hockey Night in Canada Theme Music) Alex and I have been invited to watch the Habs-'Nucks game at our friends' place tonight, so I thought I'd bake up a special theme dessert for the occasion. Here we have Canuck-cakes and Canadien-cakes. Please note, the Canucks logo I chose, while not the one currently in use, is NOT incorrect. In case you didn't recognize it, it was on their jerseys from 1970-78. (Why, you ask? Simpler design: I'm good, but there's no way I could draw a friggin' orca -- especially not in icing, on a cupcake.)
It's not guinea pigtures, but they're having their usual lazy Saturday, spent entirely inside their pigloos. Not so interesting.
Ain't I crafty?

Wie geht's?

2006-01-16T15:05:00.000-05:00

Hallo, deutsche PigBlog Leser! Wilkommen zu Maude and Bessies Website! Um, I hope that's comprehensible. I blame Babelfish if it's not.

Hey, check out this totally pooped piggie -- oder, auf Deutsche, ein ausgepumptes Meerschweinchen.

It's so cute how she sticks her little back legs out.

Sacrilege...

2006-01-11T21:32:00.000-05:00

Floor time, another one of our efforts to keep the porkers' weight under control. Starts out like most floor time does, a little sniffing around, a little scuttling into corners...
Then BOOM! Oh no you didn't! Oh no you did not! You did NOT just pee in Maude's face in front of the BIBLE. That is WRONG! Jesus would be HORRIFIED with you right now. No! Now you're trying to EAT the Bible? Oh, man.
The spawn of SATAN!

Holiday pictures

2006-01-11T09:39:00.000-05:00

Hello, this is Maude. Here are some photos from when Bessie and I went to stay with Twister and Chase for a week! Above, this is me, freaked out during floor time.

This is Bessie hiding in the pigloo during floor time. I think we were both really shy around Twister and Chase, because they're so cute and hunky.

Here's Twister getting weighed. What a cutie! Too bad he and Chase weren't allowed to really hang out with us!

Chase is all black with a little white. He and Bessie look most like potbellied pigs!

Well, I hope you enjoyed looking at some of our holiday photos -- I was so mad that my PigBlogger posted pictures of her holiday but not of ours. It's a PIGBLOG, you stupid! Not a PEOPLEblog! Get your own blog!

Love,
Maude

In which Bessie gets off her fat Guinea Butt

2006-01-09T11:02:00.000-05:00

So my pigs are a little lazy. Mostly this is my fault for being too absorbed in homework to take them out of the cage and prod their little butts all around my office. (They are a lazy bunch by nature, just like me.) But it's getting ridiculous now. Bessie weighs in just shy of a whopping 3 pounds, and to watch her waddle across the cage is just -- well, funny, but -- sad. She literally flops her butt over from side to side, to avoid picking up her huge girth and just going. Okay, so maybe that's an exaggeration, but still, she's a porker. So today we removed the pigloos and set up all kinds of wierd objects in the cage to keep them busy.

They're really interested in this stuff, too: the empty envelope box, the tube, some balled-up paper (Maude is trying to throw the balls over the tube. Clever!). Bessie has actually picked her fat butt off the ground several times, and run around the box, then pushed the box around. But every so often she flops down, as pictured above, into a big puddle of pig. We're going to have to make a real effort this year.

PS: hi and thanks to Jesse for linking ye olde PigBlog! Maude and Bessie say "that's awesome!"

Celery!

2006-01-08T21:13:00.000-05:00

So we bought some celery to make something or other, and then remembered that the pigs really like it... they REALLY like it. Here is Bessie gnawing on a big ol' hunk of it. They like the leaves best, but Bessie also seems to enjoy the more crunchy, woody part of it. More so than Maude, that is.
Here Maude has dragged her preferred piece of celery over to the door of her pigloo, and waits with bated breath for an opportunity to sneak the snack inside, where she will noisily devour it. Note the intensity in her eyes... you can almost see the concentration as she eyes first Bessie, then the door.

Success!!! (Once she turned it the right way so it wouldn't get stuck crosswise.)

Help some cuties!

2006-01-05T22:09:00.000-05:00

Hi,
This is Bessie again. As most of you know, I was rescued from a shelter by my roommates. I'm happy to have a home (even though I poop in it!) You can help shelter animals too by clicking the button on this website. Every click means 0.6 bowls of food are donated to needy animals!
I'm starting the Year of the Guinea off right. I'm going to be a more mellow, less grumpy pig. I might even share some broccoli with Maude.

Love, Bessie

Happy Year of the Guinea!

2006-01-02T21:01:00.000-05:00

Happy 2006!

The piggleses are home at last after their long sojourn away and are very happy to settle back into their routine, although I think they were a little sad to leave "Grandma & Grandpa's" house. It's nice to have their little squeaks and hoots back to give our place a little je-ne-sais-quoi. It felt flat, the few days we were here pigless.

I think the girls are tired from their car journey. It's not their favorite thing in the world, this travelling by car. I took one on-ramp at a pretty good clip at one point and heard some little feet scuttle sideways, as a pig staggered into the side of the cage. That was followed by a clang as a food dish struck the water bottle. Sorry! Stay in your seats at all times, please!

Hope all of you PigBlog readers had a wonderful start to the Year of the Guinea, and that those of you who have to go back to work tomorrow aren't too blown away after a nice holiday!

The girls look forward to hearing from you all.

In lieu of pigs...

2005-12-29T14:09:00.000-05:00

Hi!
Hope everyone had a joyous holiday season! Maude and Bessie had a great time, eating spinach and red pepper (so festive). They are staying with their grandparents until January 2 so Alex and I can get our party/schoolwork/shuttling back and forth to MTL on, so until those cute little piggers return, here are some pictures of other things, non-pig-related. I apologize for the lack of pigness here, but I promise, there is plenty more guinea piggery to come in 2006, which I have dubbed "Year of the Guinea."
1. First is our excellent friend Kieran, who lives in NYC and took us on a whirlwind tour of Greenwich, the East Village, and other cool 'hoods. Here at Katz's he introduced us to pickled tomatoes.
2. Times Square. Big. Bright.
3. My own creation, a "Monstrian."

Happy Holidays from Bessie and Maude!!!

2005-12-16T17:25:00.000-05:00

All the best for this Holiday Season and in the New Year!
Love, Maude and Bessie
xoxoxo

Oh hi, how are you!

2005-12-16T17:19:00.000-05:00

Hi there, PigBlog readers! Sorry for the lack of updates these days. I guess now that my exam is over I have no excuse, but there you have it. I've had to catch up on Christmas shopping, baking, and all the housework I've shirked since the studying got really intense. Plus I had a stack of "portfolios" to grade. We're going on a trip to NYC this coming week, too, so my pigs will be in the care of the very capable Ms. K. All this to say, I guess things will be quiet around the blog for the next while!

Oh PHEW!

2005-12-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

I passed.

A Message from Bessie

2005-12-11T13:25:00.000-05:00

Hello PigBlog readers,
This is Bessie. I'm the newest piggie here, and I get a bad rap, dig? Yeah, I know I'm a minister's widow and I act all mean to Maude, nipping her butt and pissing in her face -- I can't deny that. But that's how I'm dealing with my grief. Plus I never liked being all kind and $#!@. So if you think I'm mean, you need to step off. I love Maude; I'm just rude. That's just what I am. Me and Alex have been hanging out, having beers and watching hockey -- he understands. I talk smack about the leafs with that homie. Also, Mordecai's down. But Maude is jealous of that because he used to be her boyfriend. Whatever! Plus, what you never hear about is Maude's emotional problems. Oh yeah, she's a total drama queen, and a big old baby. Neurotic! I personally think she needs toughening up. You don't know me!
Holla!
LOLZ! Luv,
B-Diggity!

Christmas time!

2005-12-11T13:17:00.000-05:00

We put up the tree last night! Here are some pics of our awesome/kitschy decorations!
Those of you who were in attendance at our Christmas tree decorating party when we lived in MTL will recognize this giant deer -- thanks, Mike! Chris, we still have your giant creepy Santa head, and we also still have James' velvet-suit-wearing dog carrying a heart. Amazing ornaments all! They fit so well with our disco balls. I'm still looking for a guinea-themed ornament. Do they exist?

No news...

2005-12-09T18:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I wrote my exam (4 hours) this morning/afternoon, but...
I don't know if I passed yet. I won't know today. They told me Monday morning, at the latest. URRG!
Oh well, at least now I have a little more time to take pigtures, while I review my notes and prepare for the oral defense which I may or may not (if I don't pass the written, no defense) do on Tuesday!

Experiment: Failed!

2005-12-08T17:18:00.000-05:00

So I'm declaring the fleece experiment a failure. Not a dismal failure, but a failure nonetheless -- mostly due to my own lack of available leisure time in which to vacuum, change the underpadding and wipe the whole cage down multiple times a day. Seriously, how do people who use fleece keep it from stinking up the place?? I was never in the slightest bit allergic to the guineas before I used fleece... with fleece I started having epic sneezing fits and a runny nose just being in the same room as them. I think it was the lack of pee absorption. So we've switched -- not back to carefresh, since it was so crazy expensive -- but to aspen shavings, which are cheaper, and look a bit like fluffier pine but without the potentially harmful oils. Sigh. Maybe once I'm not so busy (like, when will that be?) I can go back to the fleece, but.... yewuuchhhk!

By the way, thanks to the well-wisher in the last post's comment! I'm nervous for this exam, but I'm so anxious to just write it and get it over with! I'd like to wish the best of luck to all my pigblog readers who are writing exams, handing in term papers, and getting very little sleep right now!

I'll let you know tomorrow how it turned out.

"I'm not pandering to you."

2005-12-06T17:41:00.000-05:00

My friend Ryan mentioned that he thought the picture of Dr. Skipowicz from the last post reminded him of Alex. Anyone else?

Also, sorry for the lack of updates, but Biggest Exam of my Career is on Friday. Add to this the fact that the professor in charge of where I work made a mistake and it turns out I do have to work this week after all, and the pigblog gets shoved down the todo list a bit. NOT FOR LONG!

A Word from Professor Skipowicz

2005-11-30T19:40:00.000-05:00

Since so many of you have asked for my professional advice as a Doctor of Economics, I've decided to speak to you today about buying an RRSP. You need to do this before the deadline. Also, you have to go to a bank and make an appointment with someone to buy your RRSP. RRSP stands for Registered Retirement Savings Plan. You put money in it now for when you retire.
Many people have asked me, "Dr. Skipowicz, being a Marxist, why did you become the kind of economist that works for banks and stock exchanges and whatnot?" Well, that is a good question. It was because I loved the smell of banks, and I really loved those little slips of paper that they kept under the counter, where you would write how much you wanted to deposit or withdraw. They did away with all of that; I guess I should have had more foresight.
My advice to all of you buying RRSPs this year, is that you should tell your bank person to invest your money in socially-responsible companies. Like the Oxbow Hay company, or Little Critters Biodegradable Rodent Toiletries, or organic carrot farms. This is because if you give money to companies that make oil and whatnot, they will continue to destroy the earth, which means less grass for all the tiny people of the world, like guinea pigs and whatnot.
Tiny people of the world unite! Go green for your RRSPs this year!
Thank you,
Dr. Maude T. Skipowicz, Ph.D., D.Litt, K.C.B.

A few new things

2005-11-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

Hello all, and sorry for the recent pigblog hiatus. I've been studying like a mad fool, and the pigs, for whatever reason, have started re-negotiating Bessie's supremacy. Maude is all of a sudden fighting back, peeing on Bessie, humping her -- even giving her a high-kick the other night! So it's been less than peaceful, but I thought I'd show off a few new things in pigland.
First is our old friend Mordecai, Maude's first cage buddy. He has come back to try and keep the peace.

Next is this great fleece I've been using instead of bedding -- I got some with a cool forest pattern on it, which I think the piggies enjoy.... I can vacuum it between changings! It saves money and waste, but I haven't washed my used fleeces yet so I don't know how gross that is going to be.

And Miss Maude just got a new haircut! I bathed both pigs recently and then gave Missy here a nice trim around the back. It kind of makes her look like a lion or a buffalo when she goes charging around the cage, because it's long in front still, but much shorter in back. Kind of a reverse mullet. I'm thinking about someday using Alex's electric clipper and making Maude into a shorthair. That would be neat!

Nerd alert!

2005-11-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

New glasses...

.... nnnnGlavin!

Lettuce share

2005-11-25T21:08:00.000-05:00

Maude and Bessie don't always just stare each other down and act like big poopy enemies, you know...

They have sometimes been known to share a lettuce leaf or two. It actually works out quite well, since Maude prefers the really green stuff and Bessie will eat the parts Maude won't (ie, the white stuff).

Here Bessie's cheek is expanding to take in more lettuce!!!!

So cute!

Guinea pigs working together
To make a happy home!

OPP!

2005-11-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

Yes! Thanks to Marybeth for sending us this OPP. (Those of you still *ignoring* my CFP -- call for pics -- take note!) This is Little Carrots, named for Algernon Swinburne, a Victorian poet whose Pre-Raphaelite Brethren teased him for his red hair. She is a very athletic and affectionate little miss.

Here is what Marybeth had to say about Little Carrots:
"Here you'll see Little Carrots engaged in any number of her daily activites, from some light housekeeping duties, an existentially fraught stand-off with her 'medicine ball,' to a diligent bit of scholarship. As you can see, L.C.'s chief academic interest is medieval theology, but she's been known to dip her paw into the odd Victorian novel here and there. We've discussed the possibility of her taking orders, but Little Carrots has some "post-Vatican II" grievances against Rome. She feels that, as a laykitten, she has more freedom to pursue her felinitarian goals."

All I have to add is that if Little Carrots were to dress up in a costume, she would dress as a horseback rider, with a crop and high boots and a jaunty little cap.

Bravo, Little Carrots!

Go outside and play!

2005-11-22T18:17:00.000-05:00

This is pretty much how floor time goes for Maude and Bessie. I put them down on the office floor, and they immediately scramble back to their condo, begging to be let back in. They peer pathetically through the bars and wheek at all the hay they've left behind... Well, maybe all these pull-ups really work their core or something.

OPP!

2005-11-22T18:13:00.000-05:00

Here are some of my favorite OPP's (well, both the pigs and their owners are favorites with me!) Twister and Chase, having a little too much fun in their hay bag! Don't eat too much, now, fellas!

I'd just like to point out that reader participation in this OPP thing has been very disappointing so far. Don't make me do google image searches for animals and then pretend people sent them in to me! Come on, now! Share your pretty pet with other worthy pigblog readers!

Art pigs

2005-11-21T00:21:00.000-05:00

Miss Maude is a dark, troubled, artistic soul, as this photo clearly shows: she spends a lot of time brooding in corners and toilets. This was taken during what, for normal guineas, would be a fun playtime. For Maude, it was clearly an existential hell.

An existential hell named Bessie, that is. Like her biggest artistic influence, the great Picasso, Bessie recognizes that traditional Western methods of representation in visual art limit the scope of perception to a single moment, a single angle. Here, she demonstrates the concept of parallax.

Like the cramped yet individuated and emotionally atomized figures in such early modern masterpieces as Daumier's "Third-Class Carriage" and Seurat's "Dimanche a La Grande Jatte," Maude and Bessie dramatize the characteristic modernist experience of "anomie" or isolation in the midst of the crowd; the sensation of being surrounded by strangers who are irremediably separate from the self and wholly unknowable.

Piggie update

2005-11-20T17:26:00.000-05:00

Hey, so, I've switched the piggies' bedding from disposable Carefresh (made from recycled paper, pictured here) to reusable fleece, which is pictured below. I got a foam pad (wrapped in a plastic bag, then layered newspapers over that, then lay down my double thickness of fleece and this is what it looks like. It seems a lot messier because hay and poo and whatnot doesn't mix in with the bits, like it did with Carefresh, but I can just shake this off everyday. Plus I'm trying to train them to use their "petit coin" for peeing, which will make matters even better.

Maude has started to hide away from Bessie in the hay. She hates it when Bessie does her hourly "pigloo invasions," so this seems like a good solution. I wish it didn't look so sad!

Poor Maude!

Bessie having some laptime yet still watchful of the goings-on in her cage. She's a vigilant little miss!

Piggy poetry

2005-11-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

My excellent friend Marybeth sent me a link to some piggy poetry today. It may be the sleep-deprivation I'm experiencing from studying for comps, or it may be the 18 solid hours of Wordsworth I read yesterday, but this is excellent stuff! See especially the haikus on non-food edibles, and the petrarchan sonnet to a lost piggy love (pretty facile rhyme scheme and the volta comes too late, but hell, I can't write a sonnet!). Also, they have Christmas carols. Maybe I should take a page out of Beezart's book and do my own Christmas flash videos with m&b!

Spot the resemblance?

2005-11-17T10:31:00.000-05:00

An idea

2005-11-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

Hey, maybe I should make OPP a regular feature of the pigblog. Maude and Bessie invite all their furry friends (guinea and non-guinea alike) to send in a picture. It will be posted on the pigblog with a little explanation of how M & B know this furry friend, what this furry friend's interests are, and what kind of costume that furry friend should wear, were that furry friend indeed to wear a costume. Sound good?

I'm down with OPP (yeah, you know me!)

2005-11-15T20:33:00.000-05:00

OPP stands, of course, for "other people's pigs." These two little sweeties are my friend Katie's boys, Chase (black) and Twister (brown/reddish). Here they are, snuggling all cute. They are full of energy and have a lot to say! Katie thinks we should put our pigs together, but I don't know... Maude and Bessie are pretty hot. I don't see how Twister and Chase would be able to resist them. It just wouldn't be fair to these little cuties. M and B are love-em-and-leave-em types at the moment -- they're having a "wild girls" phase. But I do like Katie's other idea, dressing them up. I think Chase would make an excellent little monkey, and Twister can be a deer!

Guinea police

2005-11-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

These days, whenever Bessie teases Maude (which happens a LOT -- chasing her, nosing her in the butt, taking hay out of her mouth, getting in the same house with her) Maude sends up this crazy wail that sounds a lot like a guinea siren or a guinea car alarm. WheeEEP! WheeeEEEP! WheeEEEP! I don't know what that sound means, but it's probably something like ssstOP THAT! ssstOP THAT!

I don't think Maude and Bessie quite share the same sense of humour... yet.

Piggies' new cousin

2005-11-14T14:13:00.000-05:00

Well, she's not a piggie, but Peka here is Maude and Bessie's new cousin!

She's absolutely adorable, and her resemblance to Bessie is, I think, quite remarkable.

A pigblog miscellany

2005-11-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

Since I don't have the time or energy to think up anything really interesting for the pigblog today, here is a series of pictures of random pig events that have taken place over the past few days.

First, here is the Happy Helper containing some of the chaos that resulted from my weekend Christmas photo shoot. Bessie is coralled in his left arm, and Maude is prevented from doing her lemming impression by his right. Thanks, happy helper! The cards turned out so well!!!

Because it is too cute, here is Bessie's funny droopy little bottom lip. Guinea pigs have these great droopy lips that make them look so comical and sweet. How can you not love something that looks this foolish?

The girls are finally learning how to share food. Not always, but some of the time. There is still the odd chase and grab, but they just have such a thing for lettuce, they are too busy eating to taunt each other. Lettuce is kind of a problem food for them. They love it -- it's one of their perennial favorites -- but when you've given it to them once in a day, they'll start hooting every time you get up to do anything or go anywhere, or even when they hear paper rustling, because they NEED more!

Here is Bessie enjoying some of her favorite green stuff in the privacy of her house. Guinea pigs are supposedly colour blind, but both pigs definitely prefer the purple house. They chase each other out of it on an hourly basis.

Sweet little Miss Maude is gettin' her lunch on here. She crunches through the lettuce so quickly and with such seeming violence, it makes me think of lions devouring gazelles. Guinea pigs are the true hunters of the vegan world!

christmas is coming!

2005-11-13T12:12:00.000-05:00

Without wanting to give too much away, here's a look at the set-up for a photo-shoot I did yesterday with two of my favorite little cavies. I took about an hour away from my studies to work on some sweet custom Christmas cards -- it was fun! I learned a little about working with animals, and I also learned that photoshop can mitigate some of the problems that inevitably arise....

I don't know why I didn't expect them to want to eat the tree.

those of you who know me personally can expect a little surprise in the mail soon!
(chris and jamal, if you want one, send me your new address!)

Riddle me this

2005-11-11T09:24:00.000-05:00

Okay so last night, before bed, I put the barrier back up between the pigs -- even though all the experts say if there's no bloodshed, don't separate them -- partly because I would be in bed and not see any bloodshed, were it to happen, and partly because, well, Maude was screaming every time Bessie went near her and it was really irritating, and would wake me up.

This barrier is made from 2 cube squares, twist-tied together, and twist-tied to either side of the cage. It moves only a very little bit when they pull on the bars with their teeth.

This morning, I woke up and came over to see how everyone was doing. I saw Maude drinking some water on her side and bent down to pet her when suddenly....

BESSIE came out of the house on MAUDE's SIDE -- the OPPOSITE SIDE to where she had been last night.

I still have no idea how she got through the barrier -- did she climb over it? I ought to have taken photographic evidence, but I was too sleepy and surprised to think of it. The good news is, they had apparently spent a considerable amount of time together in a space half the size of their full cage, and there were no battle scars. They even seemed quite content. This morning, there's been minimal screaming, and they may even be playing together.

Unification: Part the Second

2005-11-10T18:46:00.000-05:00

I went out today and bought some "Squeaky Clean Critter Shampoo," which promised to make my pigs smell "as fresh as a baby," ie, it was baby-powder scented. Ewww! Anyway, it did a good job of cleansing the critters, who you see here, once again sheepish and irritated after a nasty bath.

On top of washing the pigs, we also cleaned out the cage, washed their pigloos and bowls and everything, and put down fresh bedding, so there would be no lingering smell of one or the other pig. Then we put the pigs themselves back into the cage, and let 'em rip. Maude humped Bessie, then Bessie all of a sudden became the dominant one, chasing a shrieking Maude around and around the cage, even getting into her house with her a few times and giving her a few nips to keep her in line. That was a bit of a surprise, except that Bessie's larger size makes her a better candidate for dominance.

The two of them settled down peacefully at first, and shared some hay. Then it got a little upsetting as Bessie mercilessly chased Maude away from her pigloo, veggies, and everything, making her squeal like she was in pain (she didn't seem to have been actually bitten anywhere, though.)

While I know this is typical dominant behaviour, and necessary as a first step to establish who's in charge, I found it really hard to watch my first (and most spoiled) little critter get chased and bullied by the newcomer. As a minister's wife, you'd think she'd be a little more christian about her living arrangements! But no, one pigloo is not enough for Mrs. Brambledown -- she wants both. Right now Maude is sitting rather dejectedly in a corner outside her pigloo.

My only hope is that this initial "shock and awe" tactic sets the hierarchy, and they can settle into a more placid routine, sharing the food and shelter more equitably with occasional nudges to remind the underling of her place. If not, I guess we'll have to put the barrier back up to ensure everyone's getting a fair deal.

Guinea Pig Unification Day

2005-11-10T09:49:00.000-05:00

Everybody sing!

It's guinea pig unification day
Guinea pig unification day
Guinea pigs working together
To make a happy home

This is a song I wrote in honour of taking the fence down in the guinea cage, which will hopefully happen at some point later on today.

Something interesting: Maude has started jumping onto her house again! We haven't caught her in a photo doing that yet, but it's something she used to do when she got excited, back when we first got her, but had stopped doing for a while. Now that Bessie's around, she's doing it again.
You know what I think? I think they love each other but they're pretending to fight. Last night I came into the office and they were lying down side-by-side, on either side of their little fence. So sweet! Plus Maude is doing so much popcorning these days -- she can't convince me she's miserable with Bessie around!

please note

2005-11-08T23:29:00.000-05:00

I've turned the "word verification" thingy on for comments, so next time you (ahem, yes, you) comment, you will have to type the word shown for the comment to post. This just prevents more (admittedly hilarious) spam commentary like that of the brilliant Diaper Cake (see below).

Bathtime

2005-11-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

No fun, eh? Well this is what happens when you spray each other with your pee during playtime. Notice the bits of apple floating in the dunk-tank: because you can't use people soap on piggies, I thought it might make them smell pleasantly like green apples to toss a few into the bathwater.

Result? Um, no, they still smell vaguely like pee and sawdust.

Geez, what a sad sight they are wet, though. Especially Miss Maude.

Safe on dry land. Looking rather sheepish; a little ashamed of themselves. Why do all animals get that look on their face when you bathe them?

I don't think this bath turned a corner for them or anything, although they were cuddling together right afterwards, in the towel. But today their interaction was a little less fight-y...

Maude is still doing her best drag king impression, rumbling around like a big man. I think on Thursday I'm going to get some proper guinea shampoo, bathe both pigs, scrub their cage, pigloos and bowls until no trace of their former scents remain, and let them figure it out. The religous debate can take place at that time, I imagine.

More Maude trivia: did you know Maude was once the front-pig for an indie band named "Maude and the Honeybees?" They had one hit single: "Oh no (that not nice)."

This is new...

2005-11-07T20:26:00.000-05:00

Wow. This must be a first in guinea pig history. Today's floor session was particularly hateful: Bessie actually sprayed her pee in Maude's face! Twice! And then Maude made two unsuccessful attempts to return fire, finally landing one direct hit. Bessie just stood there frozen with indignation for a few seconds before leaping to re-engage Maude in ridiculous piggy combat.

I have recently discovered that this reluctance on the part of my gp's to behave in a friendly manner to one another stems from a religious disagreement on the part of the cousins. Maude, being Polish, is a devout Catholic. When Pope JPII passed away last year, she spent the day hiding in her house, too sad to stir. Bessie, on the other hand, is a staunch low-church Anglican, accustomed to very little ornamentation and ceremony in her forms of worship.

So really, at the heart of their problems is a religious debate which I've invited them to come out and conduct publicly, in this blog. So the next few posts should contain brief statements of each pig's religious point of view, and then a point-counterpoint engagement of those beliefs, until hopefully we can reach an understanding. This isn't about converting either pig, it's about giving them the tools to work through their intolerance. As I think Cathy and Oliver pointed out, Bessie really isn't finding the solace she had hoped to... I think the two can talk it out in this space.

And of course, if all else fails, there is baptism by bathtub, which they had a little taste of today, following the pissing contest.

God give me strength!

A word from Buddha

2005-11-07T10:07:00.000-05:00

Buddha intervenes at the start of our latest "introduction" session: "guys, could you please, PLEASE not fight? It's so annoying, it makes me want to stop smiling big enough to crack my face. And that's just not cool. I'm supposed to be the fat, happy Buddha -- that's something I thought guinea pigs could get behind! You're even vegans for goodness' sake! I totally support that! Come on now! Have some respect!"

So, taking this message to heart, Maude and Bessie scramble into a yin-yang formation, thoughtfully demonstrating their good intentions, yet (characteristically) ignoring the fact that such a move is pretty much culturally irrelevant to Buddha.... He appreciated the effort, though.

The pigs were surprisingly subdued this time around. They spent about the first 20 minutes just checking each other out, sticking their noses in each other's necks, and -- wow -- not fighting.

Of course such great behaviour couldn't last long, and they eventually went a couple of rounds. However, I did find what cavyspirit reports to be true: that sows might snap at each other and posture a lot, but they are great big fakers. It's all about bluffing and trying not to actually engage. I think Maude has pretty much established herself as the dominant piggie, but Bessie will continue to challenge her from time to time. Ultimately, though, I think they are starting to work it out.

Bessie is trying her best to see into the closet. God forbid she should ever get in there -- she'd have to start all over on her own, because I sure as heck wouldn't be able to find her.

Notice the poo. It's an essential part of any Maude and Bessie outing. The scrapping usually results in a pooping contest.

Wrangling guineas is hard work!

Auntie Colleen

2005-11-07T09:58:00.000-05:00

On Saturday, Ryan and Colleen came over for some foosball and hockey, and Jesse, who was in town for a belated birthday visit to his family, also stopped by.

A great time was had by all, especially the piggies, who were treated to much love and attention from the guests.

Bessie enjoyed onesies, twosies AND threesies from "auntie" Colleen. What a spoiled little gp!

The Wall

2005-11-06T11:56:00.000-05:00

Here is a photo of current piggie living arrangements. We put a barrier between the pigs so they could check each other out without killing or maiming each other.

And while they don't get along when given full access to one another, they spend a lot of time parading up and down in front of the bars, sniffing each other, bumping noses, and occasionally sharing some hay.

We took the barrier down yesterday to see if they would sort out their differences once and for all. Here they are scoping out the situation from the comfort of their respective homes. Once the barrier was down, they went crazy eating each other's food, running in and out of each other's pigloos, tasting each other's water, and basically doing the whole "mom! she's on my side of the car!" thing.

Here they are chasing each other around the cage. This again resulted in a few nipping fights, sustained teeth chattering on both sides (which is so creepy -- anyone ever see Dark City?) and (gasp) humping. They also push each other around by shoving their noses in each other's butts. Good times!

I think from now on we'll take cavyspirit's advice and keep introducing them in neutral zones rather than letting them get all territorial in their own cages. I hope they realize they'll have to submit to a bath if all this doesn't work... they so don't want that.

Updates forthcoming...

2005-11-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. Thanks for all of your support and your comments: Jamal Black, anonymous, anonymous, Aunt Sheila, Cath and Oliver, anonymous, Gord and Carol... oh, and Chris. How kind! We're approaching 100 page views -- thank you, loyal pigblog fans!

Sorry there's been so little activity here -- I've been taking pictures and had planned to do a big update last night, but for some reason iphoto on Alex's computron screwed up and while it looked like all the pictures had been uploaded, we couldn't move them or do anything with them. What's worse, we had erased them from the camera. Poop! So I'm taking more while Alex figures out the iphoto glitch, and I'll have something up for all you hardcore pigblog fans later today -- for realz, yo.

Bessie's integration hasn't been going as smoothly as we had hoped. She and Maude fight whenever we remove the barrier between them, with no signs of one or the other pig backing down. Maude even humped Bessie yesterday, (!!!) and while Bessie sort of took it, that doesn't seem to have established their hierarchy to either's satisfaction. We were a little sad, thinking maybe they can't live happily together -- and that pigblog would be no more! But I found a great resource, actually by the same people who invented c&c cages, that gave us some hope. They counsel owners not to give up too soon, to keep doing neutral introductions, and if all else fails, to throw the little beasts in a bath and make them smell the same. They claim to have a 100% success rate. They also say it's normal for gps to fight viciously at first and that you should only stop them if they draw blood. Ughh.... it's so hard for me to see my little angels being so nasty!

Well, expect some more movement on this site later. Maude and Bessie send their love to all.

mine! mine!

2005-11-04T09:09:00.000-05:00

oh that's nice, you're both munching some hay.
see? there's plenty for everyone!

sigh.

we are maude and bessie

2005-11-03T17:27:00.000-05:00

Hi.

Well, you knew this was coming: a pigblog. Think of it as an outlet for all my pigtures and pig stories which allows me to not bring them up in conversation all the time.

So this week, Bessie came out of her two-week quarantine to meet Maude. We introduced them in the "neutral environment" of the hallway. Teeth chattering, squealing, nipping and chasing ensued, and on the whole they behaved like nasty little kids, or maybe dogs. From what I've read that's normal, but not pleasant. Now they're both in Maude's cage with a barrier between them, which should prevent any serious injuries while they get used to each other.

The funniest thing was when Alex and I noticed Maude doing what's called a "rumble strut" in front of Bessie -- that's usually how male guinea pigs try to pick up the ladies. They make a motorcycle noise and do a slow march in front of the other pig. We were like, oh snap, is Maude a dude? But after looking it up, we found out that it's just an act of dominance that any pig will do. So Maude wants to be "head pig" -- I guess we'll see about that.